The Mighty B! Review/Transcript
Bessie: '*picking her nose* Wow, Finguere, you pick even better than you scratch! But...can you flick? *flicks the booger and it lands in Happy's mouth* *laughs* ''(Intro) I've got a brilliant ''idea for a cartoon! You know those bad episodes of ''Spongebob? You know,'' the ''really bad ''ones like "Good Neighbors" or "Squid's Visit"? You know, those episodes where Spongebob is completely ignorant to the feelings of everyone around him, and anyone who doesn't put up with his destructive antics becomes karmically punished, because not putting up with his selfish desires is one of the worst sins that someone could commit? The episodes where Spongebob has no likability whatsoever, constantly breaks into his neighbor's house for his own selfish ends, and almost '''bends '''reality to get other people to fall into his whims? '''Spongebob: '''Squidward could you keep it down, please? Trying to find my starting pitch here. ''(Squidward screams as he is stung by jellyfish and Spongebob sings) Well, what if we made a show where every single episode ''is like that? I know what you might be thinking, wasn't I supposed to be talking about ''The Mighty B! and wasn't that a show about a bee scout on her quest to get every single merit badge? Like a less funny, less charming, less original form of the Urban Rangers from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy. No! It's not about that at all! It's about a selfish girl named Bessie and her flagrant disregard about the world around her, and its inhabitants! And how anyone who treats her like the annoying character that she is is seen as the villain of the show! 'Bessie: '''How would you like to be my dog? ''(Happy tries to run but Bessie lassos him with a dog leash. Happy barks in protest) 'Bessie: '''Ha, ha! I'm gonna take that as a "yes"! *squeezing Happy* Happy's the best dog in the whole world and I'm gonna get the "Animal Appreciation" badge! ''(Happy pops and deflates from being squeezed too hard) I might be getting ahead of myself when I'm saying this, but The Mighty B! ''is the worst Nicktoon of the 2000s. There is no competition. As you might've been able to tell, I didn't like this one too much! Growing up, I saw maybe one or two episodes of this show. At the time it felt like one of the many sh-many, ''many ''shows of the era trying to capture the magic with ''Spongebob as Spongebob's quality was waning. Yet a bunch of these shows with these "overeager, overoptimistic, naive" characters that made their main quest annoying other people. A lot of people were going for the ''Spongebob ''crown at the time, and it was ''not a good time to be a fan of cartoons at the time. Ya see, most people like Spongebob ''because of what it used to be in its pre-movie series. The modern episodes like say, "The Splinter" or "Boating Buddies" weren't exactly liked...But when shows ''tried ''to claim the ''Spongebob ''crown, they saw what ''Spongebob ''was doing ''at the time, and not its inception and they tried to cash in on that. ''The Mighty B! ''is one of those shows. Actually, I don't know if it's best to describe this show like that. I don't like this show and that seems to be because...it's one of those shows that's ''specifically engineered to '''piss me off! If somebody wanted to make a cartoon just to spite me, this is the cartoon that they would make. This show seems to have picked and chosen each and every one of its details, specifically because I hate it when cartoons do these. It even goes down to the theme song. (Plays a bit of the theme song) Each individual part of the theme song, like the singing and the instrumentation, the lyrics...they're all good on their own. However, the way that they're haphazardly thrown together, makes it sound annoying and awful! (Plays more clips of the theme song) Each individual part of this show might've worked in some other context, but all being thrown into one homogenous glob, makes it hard to start with. And I'm having trouble...figuring out where to begin with my criticisms. I mean, I guess we could start with the animation. A lot of animation in the world provokes really deep, profound, and thought-provoking questions, that causes you to search deep within your soul. To find some kind of meaningful answer. And it turns out that the animation of Mighty B! ''actually does inspire one of those questions...'what in God's name is wrong with the animation of this show?! If I could describe it, it's like Ren & Stimpy ''if it was animated in Flash. Most of the time it looks neat, like, too neat and too rigid and too stiff. Then it'll randomly have these big ''Ren & Stimpy ''style expressions. The problem is that it goes against the animation techniques that they've been using. These two things do not go together! When Bessie or whoever has one of these "big, over-the-top" expressions, it doesn't look smooth or funny or interesting like it does in ''Ren & Stimpy. It just looks ''jarring as hell'', and it takes you out of the experience every single time.'' Ren & Stimpy works because it's consistent; there's a stylistic ugliness about it, so when the expressions get big and over-the-top, it fits, and it adds to the aesthetic of the show. When it happens in ''The Mighty B!, it just puts the audience on edge. Sometimes though, they'll stick with their more Flash animated style and the expressions won't get "big" or "over-the-top" enough! It's a mess and it feels like they threw in animation techniques haphazardly. The story was made with the same regard. The pacing of the show is like Looney Tunes ''or ''Spongebob...on crack! The pacing is ''extremely fast, to the point of being a problem. I'm not against fast-paced shows in general, it's why I like Catscratch ''so much, but once again, this is ''The Mighty B! ''trying things that it doesn't know how to pull off. You could pace things really fast, but if you end up forgetting plot points, or, to actually establish things, it takes you out of the experience. For example, in the first episode Bessie is trying to train her dog to get a "dog show" badge. Throughout the entire episode, we see Bessie harshly train this dog, basically being abusive to the thing, and the dog absolutely 'does not 'want to be there, to the point where he finally storms off. And then we start getting a flashback of all the good times that they had together; good times...that were never actually shown onscreen. Good times...that I can assume never actually happened. All that happened within the episode, all that we actually saw...was Bessie mistreating a dog. But the dog is okay with it in the end! I'll admit, I never thought that ''this ''show of all things would be one to accurately give a depiction of Stockholm syndrome. And at the end of the episode, her snooty rival's Chihuahua turns out to be a rat. Why? Because reality is a mere suggestion. Sometimes. Sometimes the episodes take place completely within a simulacra of reality, where the characters have to obey the actual rules of reality. Sometimes, they don't, and literally anything can happen. If I had to describe this show in one word, it would be "inconsistent." Which, does set it apart from ''Catscratch, which at least was consistent in its tone and its comedy. And it didn't have absolutely '''''awful characters like Bessie. You know what? There is something consistent about this show, and-and that's Bessie! Bessie is consistently awful! In the first episode she takes a dog from off the street who wants absolutely nothing to do with her. In later episodes, it's revealed that she traumatizes her brother by making him neurotic about his food touching. And then, in order to uh, help, she decides the best option is to traumatize him again by dressing up as food, and calling him a weirdo. Breaking into houses? That's just par for the course when you're trying to win merit badges I guess. She never shuts up... Bessie: '''...46. Dogs are nice, 47. Dogs aren't cats. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch! Go Bees! Go Bees! What's that? One more time? Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch! Go Bees! 729. If I got a dog, I would rescue it, and there are over 3,812 homeless animals in the city of San Francisco- I get that she's supposed to be loud and annoying in context, but here's an idea. Maybe we could stop making cartoons about loud and annoying characters! Because they usually end up loud and annoying! They work fine as a background character, or, even a secondary character...but under no circumstances do I think they work as a ''main''' character. Even when you talk about, say, Spongebob. At the start of the show, the only character who actually ''found Spongebob annoying, was Squidward. Pretty much everyone else actually liked the guy. Oh, and this show can get gross, like, way too gross. Let's just say I only needed to see Bessie eat someone else's mucous once, to know the only time that I'll ever watch this show again is when I do an atrocity review of it. Why did Bessie eat someone else's mucous? Well that's an easy one! She wanted chicken pox...why did she want chicken pox? Because merit badge. Why did Bessie sink the Titanic? Because they offer a merit badge for it. Why did Bessie become a serial killer? Because there's a merit badge for serial killing! Why did Bessie start kidnapping people? Because there's a merit badge for it. These might sound like exaggerations, but Bessie has such a...one-track mind and a lack of a moral compass, that she would actually do these activities if the show offered merit badges for them. It's not a funny concept either. It's basically just the Urban Rangers schtick from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy ''spread over 40 episodes. And honestly that wasn't something I found very funny in ''Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy ''to begin with. As for Nicktoons...this one is close to the bottom, it's...definitely going to be in my "Top 10 Worst Nicktoons of All Time." And considering the competition coming up, that is saying something! I get that some people like this show, but, I-I have no idea why... '''Announcer: '''Next on Nick, it's- ''(Cut to Back at the Barnyard's Viewer Mail segment) 'Pig: '''Hey folks! Viewer Mail time agai- '''Principal Skinner: '''No. ''(Shows clip of the intro for The Penguins of Madagascar) 'Skipper: '''Cute and cuddly, boys! ''(End Credits Theme: "Ya Like Jazz?" a Bee Movie remix by Mejimountain (MejiMemes)) Category:Nick-o-Rama Category:Transcripts